I Never Kissed a Girl in Stepney (But I Did Kiss One in Sutton)
by pandorabox82
Summary: Bernie is home on leave with her unit, and they head to a gentleman's club on a stag night. But she has no idea just who she's going to meet that night. A/U


"Sian! There is no way I'm going up there!"

Bernie turned her head carefully to the left, keeping one ear on the conversation that was taking place between her unit and tuning her other onto the pair of women at the next table over. From the corner of her eye, she saw a bright blush darken the brunette's cheeks, and a fleeting thought sped through her brain _What would her lips taste like?_

"Major Wolfe?"

She turned her attention back to her unit, and pasted on a bright smile, hoping that she would be forgiven for her momentary lapse of attention. "Yes, Kyle?"

"Thank you for coming out with us tonight. I know, it's probably uncomfortable, but I didn't know that we were going to a gentleman's club until we arrived."

She shook her head a little, knowing that she didn't really mind. There was no way that she could tell the rest of her unit that, however, not without some seriously pointed questions that she didn't want to answer. "This will be fine. You forget, I see everything that will be up on that stage on a daily basis."

Kyle blushed as he looked down into his beer. "It's not so much the nudity, but the fact that this is amateur night. The guys thought it would be hilarious to bring me here because I'm still, well, you know, an amateur when it comes to certain things."

Sudden understanding dawned on Bernie's face as she nodded. "That's perfectly okay, Kyle, I was the same way when I married Marcus." She knew better than to reach out and pat his hand, since that would just embarrass him further, so she instead tapped her beer glass against his before bringing it to her lips and taking a long drink.

An announcer came over the pa system in the club, filling everyone else in on what was happening that night, and Bernie slunk down in her chair as she watched the first woman take the stage. She was some vacuous young blonde who looked barely old enough to drink, let alone strip, and while Bernie had to admit that she had a nice chest, there was nothing that attracted her to the girl.

Kyle, though, was putting up a good front, as he leaned in and stared as the girl minced around on stage, tottering on stilettos that were clearly too tall and thin for her. And though she was just thirty-two, with two tiny children at home, she felt worlds older than that tender slip of femininity. And there was really something quite brave about putting yourself up there for consumption by the hungry male gaze, knowing that you were going to be some guy's wet dream that evening.

Somehow, Bernie found her gaze continually drawn to the table next to theirs, watching the blonde, Sian, and the brunette next to her constantly talking. From what it looked like, the brunette was avidly trying to talk Sian out of forcing her up onto the stage, and Bernie frowned a little at the way Sian just smirked and nodded.

Finishing the rest of her beer, Bernie got up and stretched, once more not interested in the too thin woman trying to be seductive on stage. It didn't take her long to find the restroom, and she slipped inside and headed into a stall, quickly taking care of her needs. As she was washing her hands, the brunette burst into the bathroom, frustration clearly written on her face. "Never be friends with an exhibitionist," she hissed as she came over to Bernie's side and set her purse on the sink, pulling out a small makeup bag and starting to slather on dark red lipstick.

Bernie nodded dumbly as she watched the woman turn into a veritable goddess in front of her. "You, you're going on stage then?"

"Yes. Sian thinks that it will help me purge all thoughts of Edward and his lying, cheating, arse from my life. Perhaps she's right, maybe I should put my pole dancing days to good use."

Bernie swallowed thickly, her brain immediately picturing the brunette in all sorts of compromising positions. "You know that you don't have to do something you don't want to, right?" The woman nodded as she put away her compact. "Okay."

"Thanks for your concern, though. It's nice to know there's a sympathetic woman in the audience. But why are you here? Did some guy talk you into getting up there in camo, fulfilling his desires?"

She blushed as she shook her head. "I'm actually in the army, I'm here with my unit, supporting a colleague's last night as a free man." The woman nodded as she smacked her lips and then ran her fingers through her shoulder length hair. "You'd look cute with short hair."

The words popped out of her mouth before Bernie could recall them, and she froze, hoping she hadn't outed herself. Rather than reacting poorly, the woman just winked at her before nodding. "You might be right, that might be the last thing I need to make a new start in my life. Thanks!"

Bernie nodded a little as the woman rushed out of the bathroom. There was something so delicious about her, and Bernie found herself trailing along after her, needing to watch her performance. Kyle gave her a small smile when she took her seat once more, a fresh pint in front of her. "We were thinking you might have fallen in," he teased, and she shook her head.

"I was doling out important life advice in the bathroom. That's what happens there." He arched his eyebrow at her, and Bernie shrugged as she smirked. "You wouldn't get it, I'm afraid. Women have been doing that since time immemorable."

Kyle gave her one long, slow, nod before he turned his attention back to the stage. A fit redhead was just finishing up and Bernie found herself sitting up a little more, trying not to lean forward in anticipation of the brunette taking the stage. A low groan of disappointment slipped from her lips when it was someone decidedly not her brunette, and she thumped back in her chair, trying to ignore the look she got from some of the others as she picked up her beer and nursed it through the next two dancers.

And then, a sudden flurry of motion from Sian caught her attention and she knew that her mystery brunette was about to take the stage. Knowing that Kyle was a bit suspicious of her, she tried not to draw much attention to herself as she adjusted how she was sitting, leaning forward to rest her elbows on her thighs as she glanced over at Sian. The woman was wearing an ecstatic grin, and Bernie smirked as she rolled her eyes a little.

"That woman has to be at least your age, Major," Kyle whispered as her brunette stepped forward into the spotlight, her head bent down, a mischievous smirk dancing about her lips.

"So? Do you think life ends once a woman turns thirty?"

Kyle blushed as he looked at her, shaking his head a little. "No, but…I'll feel bad if anyone laughs at her. It takes a lot of bravery to do what she's going to do, and…"

"I get it, Kyle. Which is why we're going to watch and smile, right?" He nodded and raised his glass. Bernie followed suit, clinking it gently before taking a sip and returning her attention to the stage. The woman lifted her face, and somehow, Bernie just knew the moment their eyes met, since the smirk grew into a cheeky grin as she shimmied around the pole, lifting herself up to wrap one leg around it and spin around. She drew in a sharp breath as the woman let go of the pole with one hand and began to undo the buttons on her blouse.

"Go Rena!" It was nice to finally have a name to go with the face, and Bernie squirmed a little in her seat as the song went on. There definitely was something sexy about the striptease, and she only hoped that Kyle couldn't read her as well as she thought.

And then every coherent idea left her brain as a lacy bra landed in her lap, and she was staring at a pair of perfect, pale, breasts. Rena's dusky pink nipples were erect, and Bernie had to bite the inside of her lip hard to keep from licking her lips and giving the whole game away. Another wink from Rena had her blushing even harder, and she fought to drag her gaze up from the woman's chest to her eyes once more. It was a hard battle to win, and she groaned a little as she clutched at the scrap of lace in her lap. Still, she found herself lost to the sight of the soft, curvaceous, body dancing in front of them and the way that Rena kept looking at her, as if to center herself to the moment.

The song must have come to an end, as Kyle was saying something to her, and she turned her head towards him, feeling like she was moving through quicksand as she did so. "Um, Major? Did you want to keep a souvenir of this evening?" he asked pointedly, glancing down at her lap.

"I guess I did, Kyle," she murmured lowly as she stretched out her fingers out so that she could caress the fabric lightly. He gave her an odd look, and she shook her head. "This bra probably cost more than all my current ones combined. It would be even better if it was my size."

He shook his head a little. "Why do you spend so much money on something most people never see?"

"Because we like to feel sexy," she absently replied as she turned to face their table and finishing her beer. From the corner of her eye, she saw Rena take her seat once more, whispering fiercely to Sian as she darted her gaze over to Bernie and her unit. At times, their eyes would meet, and they'd both blush before looking away, but neither seemed able to stop looking.

Kyle tapped her shoulder, and she accepted another beer from his hand as she turned back to the stage, seeing another curvy brunette doing a wobbly performance for them. "I have a type, too. Don't worry, I won't breathe a word."

She arched an eyebrow as she sipped at her alcohol. "I'll remind you that I'm married, with two small children."

"I know." He gave her a small smile before looking back at the stage. She followed his gaze, but found that this young woman just quite didn't ring her bell. Still, she kept her eyes on the girl until she was finished, and then Bernie was finishing her beer before getting up. "You just can't hold your liquor."

"Not when I don't have to," she tartly replied as she sashayed over to the loo. It wasn't until she had entered that Bernie realized she'd been followed, and she gasped a little to feel a strong hand close around her arm. "Hello, you."

Rena blushed a little as she looked at the floor. "Sian said that you still had my bra?"

"I do."

"Can I have it back?" There was a slight slur to her voice, and Bernie wondered how much she'd had to drink before gaining the courage to get on stage. "Please? It's my nicest one, and I need my small bit of lovely."

Bernie tapped her lips lightly with her finger, knowing that she was teasing the woman. A small pout began to form on her lips, and she threw what little sense and caution she had to the wind. "I will give it back, but there's a price."

"Well, get on with it, then. What's your price?"

She tapped her lips once more, and Rena quirked an eyebrow up as she closed the distance between them and curved her arm around Bernie's neck. "You're beautiful," she whispered as Rena's face came closer and closer to hers.

"And we're drunk. I've never kissed a woman before. You'll be my first." And then, Bernie felt soft lips brush against hers and she fought her base urges, letting the other woman take the lead. It was a good kiss, well, more than good, if she was honest with herself, and she groaned a little as Rena tightened her hold around her neck, bringing her in closer as the kiss lingered on. "That was nice."

"It was," she gasped as she pulled away and gazed into those warm brown eyes. "Here." She held up the bra and Serena took it from her fingers before disappearing into a stall.

"Did you enjoy the show?"

"Yes."

"Good. I was performing for the one friendly face in the crowd, the only one who looked at me like I wasn't a piece of meat. I hope that you stay safe, wherever you're stationed next. You have kind eyes."

Bernie wondered if that was the alcohol talking now, but she found she didn't care. "Thanks. I, I should probably get back before I'm missed. We're only here for a short time, and I have to get home to my babies."

"Hopefully, Elinor will still be asleep when I get home. Otherwise it will be another late night feeding. Thank god that nothing leaked while I was up on stage. That would have made this whole thing all the more awkward."

"It was hot, really hot."

"And you're drunk."

"Maybe. But you are. Hopefully, you find a guy who appreciates how gorgeous you are." Bernie looked at her reflection in the mirror, taking a deep breath before turning to gaze at the closed door. "Maybe we'll run into each other again sometime."

"Maybe. Have a nice evening!"

"You, too," she called out as she left the bathroom and stumbled her way back to the table. Kyle smirked a little as he tilted his head towards the other table. "What?"

"Your prize is gone."

"She needed it back. I'll always have the memories, though." He laughed as he clapped her on the shoulder. "Are we going to start the pub crawl now?"

"I think so. But you could always stay here with your new friend." She shook her head. "Well, at least you had a pleasant night." Bernie nodded a little as she tugged on her jacket, following the rest of her unit out the door. Just as she was about to leave, she gave one last look back to Rena and Sian, smiling when Rena gave her a little wave and a wink. She waggled her fingers back before leaving, happy to have had a brief moment of freedom where she could truly be who she was. She only hoped that Rena could find that same happiness in her life.


End file.
